@thomaskeamon: I just learned today that Cardi B's real name is belcalis almanzar. I said that shit out loud and my furniture started floating
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@SlipperySecret: Guy knocking on bathroom door after sex: I think I love you. Me stringing tampons together, making a rope to climb out the window: Okay....
@iamspacegirl: Don't put up a tire swing unless you hunted and killed that car yourself, have some respect.
@MeatloafComedy: I just couldn't get into "The walking dead". It was far too unrealistic and fake for me. I mean, come on, an Asian guy named Glenn???