@NicestHippo: "I just love making people laugh" - me, explaining why I do sex
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@Swishergirl24: Police officer: Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I'm just as confused as you are.
@duplicitron: I heard that processed meats are just as bad for you as cigarettes so I'm walking around smoking a hot dog looking cool as hell.
@Tommytoughstuff: Is that a banana in your pocket or... oh wait that is a banana. Sir I'm with super market security. Please come with me.