@NicestHippo: "I just love making people laugh" - me, explaining why I do sex
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@bornmiserable: "I don't know who you are, but I will find you and I will kill you and - oh sorry, wrong number." - Liam Neeson in Mistaken
@seanyeatts: Growing up means you start to find it creepy that your dad's pet name for your mom is "Squirty"
@ValeeGrrl: My son just sat me down to gently explain how I haven't made his summer "fun enough" yet so now he's folding laundry. In a totally fun way.
@daliamalek: Every time someone makes a typo, I look at the location of the letters on the keyboard to consider whether it's justified.