@Chicken_Hawk38: I just made my Chiropractor's day by calling him Doctor in front of his mom.
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@evanrhorne: I quit my job today!! The money from that Nigerian king arrives tomorrow, I'm so excited.
@noog: Obama: Joe, look. Full moon Biden: What? TONIGHT? *starts shapeshifting* Obama: Joe? Biden: AARRGHHH *Gore kicks door down* Gore: MANBEARPIG
@Amburglar_: "Wow! Go show your mommy!" -what I say to any child talking to me for more than 11 seconds.