@ShakespearePop: I just made your acquaintance, and this is preposterous, but here is my address, perhaps thou shall mail me maybe.
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@jbryantiii: As a young child my mom told me I could be anything I wanted to be. It turns out that the police call this identity theft.
@That_Damn_Duck: Hell hath no fury like woman tagged in a Facebook photo that makes her look fat.
@Smooheed: *walks into room to find toddler stuck upside down yelling for help* "Hold it right there baby, Mommy's just taking a quick picture"
@UncleDuke1969: Jim: You have a Fantasy Football team? Me: Guys aren’t my thing. But, Tom Brady’s kinda cute. Jim: No, I- Me: Ooh! Cam Newton’s dreamy, too!