@ShakespearePop: I just made your acquaintance, and this is preposterous, but here is my address, perhaps thou shall mail me maybe.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Coworker: I couldn't sleep. Just thinking all night Me: Maybe try doing some of that here in the office during the day
@ericsshadow: My youngest is being tested for the gifted program at his elementary school and my other son thinks his toothbrush is haunted.
@TheFunnyWorId: I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
@shutupmikeginn: A trailer in a movie theater ended with "November 20th" and a guy loudly said, "thats my birthday" and a random guy said "happy birthday"