@mactx85: I just now realized the guy at the urinal that complemented my watch might not have actually just been looking at my watch.
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@StellaRtwot: Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you're doing it.
@CYComedy: Batman's Bat Signal was really banking on the fact that crimes only happened at night.
@man_spach: Just saved a bunch of money on my Glenn from The Walking Dead Halloween costume by not showering for a month.
@Jake_Vig: Picture someone you think is kinda/sorta attractive. Now picture them holding a pizza box.