@mactx85: I just now realized the guy at the urinal that complemented my watch might not have actually just been looking at my watch.
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@KentWGraham: There’s a fire at a trick birthday candle plant. Firefighters have been battling the blaze on and off for 5 days.
@samalmightysam: The world would be a better place if everybody drank alcohol. It would get even better if some of them choked on it.
@Renie_Rivas: My hair is 100% organic, but it has been tested on animals. Portions may have been used to drape over cats' heads to make little wigs.
@senderblock23: [someone reading a beautiful poem in german] ME: i have never been more frightened