@NurseMurderer: I just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen.
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@abhorrent_wife: There's a fine line between confidence and delusion and I ride that shit like a bear on a unicycle.
@squirrel74wkgn: If you see a man running down the street tonight, blowing a whistle & wearing a life guard shirt...don't worry, I'm just chasing my dream.
@drinksmcgee: Knuckle Tats (I) (H)(A)(V)(E) (W)(A)(Y) (T)(O)(O) (M)(A)(N)(Y) (F)(I)(N)(G)(E)(R)(S)
@crunchenhancer: I judge the strength of the economy based on what type of candy people hand out on Halloween.