@thatdutchperson: I just ordered a set of dumbbells, so that'll be a fun new thing to trip over while I search for the remote.
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@KeetPotato: guy: [stands up at front of plane] me: "please don't be overbooked" guy: [pulls gun] "this plane is now under my control" me: "oh thank god"
@NickSchug: If I worked at a pizza place I would use pepperoni to spell out "Marry me?" on pizzas all the time just to make things awkward for couples.
@Jeffwni: [Ancient Egypt job centre] - Name? "Ankhesenamun" - How do you spell that? "Reed comb water Ankh, bendy straw water shitting priest"
@djdarrellripley: Her: I noticed you're wearing one green sock, and one red sock. Me: Yea, I've got another pair just like these at home...