@thatdutchperson: I just ordered a set of dumbbells, so that'll be a fun new thing to trip over while I search for the remote.
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@cervixsmash: Mobile tweeting with 3% battery is a lot like the band playing while the titanic sank
@Steelers1972: You would be amazed how cheap lawn mowers are at Home Depot when you own a pickup truck and a orange apron.
@TheAlexNevil: Decades have gone by and STILL my parents have not given back the Halloween candy they took from me "for safe keeping".
@RelatableQuote: She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, we are both very unprepared for this cold weather