@AsgardianRose: I just overheard a woman tell her son "We don't lick other people, it's gross" and now I'm reevaluating so many choices I've made.
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@koalaslament: I never know what to do when someone tries to fist bump me, so I just slowly put their fist in my mouth
@david8hughes: [in the ambulance] Paramedic: what's your blood type? Me: whatever. I'm not fussy
@Owl_Meat: *puts bread in toaster* hmm something strange about the toaster today Duck(from in toaster): no there isnt