@shashaintl: I just owned you for three seconds. Possibly five if you're a slow reader. Up to ten if you read this again.
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@TheToddWilliams: [interview] BOSS: So I see you majored in communication? ME: No…miscommunication BOSS: Your resume clearly says communication ME: See?
@dshack8: "I really have no idea how to pronounce my name but I won't admit it." Guys named Geoff.
@ojedge: [job interview] Interviewer: "Describe yourself in 2 words." Me: "Atinubs. Econsibu." Interviewer: "You're hired. Welcome to CAPTCHA."
@Illiter8: What possible bit about trying to buy a large number of ice cream containers and two boxes of tampons says I want to chat you up, douchebag?