@markleggett: I just paid $4,000 to have a skywriter write "Actually, Vanessa, YOU'RE the one who's being 'dramatic'."
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@david8hughes: [sees a dog about to get run over] Me [dives toward dog & rolls to safety]: that was close [sees a cat about to get run over] Me: car coming
@Dawn_M_: Don't date men who will hold open a door for you. Date men who will punch a squirrel in the face for chittering it's teeth at you.