@yaseen_moi: I just passed my drug test. My dealer has some explaining to do.
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@AmericanGent69: If someone insults you, the best revenge is to just ignore them and pretend it never bothered you. Although arson works too.
@BlackCatBettie: I'm really bad at portioning uncooked pasta...so if you and 110 of your friends wanna come over, dinner is ready.
@DaddyJew: Gf: come over Me: can't, playing the new call of duty Gf: my parents are out of town Me: you're 30 years old, grow up