@nalex470: I just pooped my pants in the elevator. I'm taking this shit to a whole nother level.
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@carlyken: Beware of girls like Princess Peach. She seems cool at first but she ends up in some other dude's castle far too often to be a coincidence.
@SteveHofstetter: Samsung just announced a series of water resistant phones. Just what you want in a phone that sets itself on fire - to be water resistant.
@simoncholland: My daughter wants to be something scary for Halloween this year so she's going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door.
@BackrowSeats: This woman at the bar said "move, you're blocking the door" & I'm like strange pickup line but sure here's my number.