@nalex470: I just pooped my pants in the elevator. I'm taking this shit to a whole nother level.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Cop: You were going 30 over the speed limit Me: Are you sure about that? *gives him a handful of Cheez-Its* Cop: Have a nice day, sir.
@paigeofmylife2: My original account got suspended for aggressive behavior and they haven't even seen me in bed yet.
@robyn_vo: It's so annoying when attractive people say they're ugly just to get compliments from people, ugh if I weren't so ugly I'd do the same thing