@nalex470: I just pooped my pants in the elevator. I'm taking this shit to a whole nother level.
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@david8hughes: [puts dog in car] Me to wife: just gonna take her to the vet Wife: why u whispering [car screeches away] Me with wife in headlock: thats why
@iGreenMonk: I'm so embarrassed. I just learned that that Pringles holder on my treadmill is for water bottles!
@2thestreetz: *lights scented candle* *accidentally burns down house* *everyone agreed that it smelled amazing*