@splashguts: I just purchased duct tape at the Dollar Store to fix all of the other shit I bought at the Dollar Store. Life is going exactly as planned.
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@Contwixt: Don't act like you've never used a pair of binoculars to try to peer through another pair of binoculars.
@sixfootcandy: Me: The dog gives me more kisses because he loves me the most. Him: No, it's because you never wipe the ice cream off your chin.
@AmberTozer: If a shark is ever attacking me I'm gonna be like where are your parents do they know you act like this