@WhoCuppedMyCake: I just put BOTH my legs into one pajama pant leg...making me a MERMAID!
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@mindintheshadow: My ex is looking for a job but I don't think satan is retiring anytime soon so I suppose she'll be unemployed for a while.
@MindyFurano: Flipped over my therapist's writing pad and it was just a New York Times crossword with "shut up" written in every blank.
@pjux: "How do you speak such good English?" "I dunno 200 years of colonialism and eurocentric education, how do you know so little history?"