@lloydrang: I just ran 4.1 Kms and realized you can write anything you want after that and no one will read it purple monkey dishwasher.
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@wescraw: We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they'll dig the wrong way. It's called thinking ahead guys.
@BCMontgo: Me: I'll definitely do it tomorrow. Morgan Freeman: He wouldn't. Me: *chasing Morgan out of my house with broom* Why are you here again?
@XplodingUnicorn: Random woman in the store: What's in your mom's tummy? 5-year-old: A baby. Woman: What kind of baby? 5-year-old: A human one. Nailed it.
@freypalm: Parents: When you finish the chores will you please look for a job. Me: [painting the cat's claws] Still a lot to do unfortunately.