@PeachCoffin: I just ran a .003048K
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@_little_old_me: I bought a pregnancy test so the cashier who always serves me when I'm by myself in my pjs, buying ice-cream & chips, thinks I have sex.
@omically: saying "we won" after watching a sports game is like saying "we played really well" after watching a concert
@LoneWolfStories: Her: Let's go shopping. Me: In your dreams. Her: The boutique has Wi-Fi. Me: Why are we still here?