@atDevin: I just read a story about someone finding a dead body at a Walmart. HOW EMBARRASING, I'd never be caught dead at a Walmart.
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@moooooog35: A bright side to having kids is that if I'm ever trapped in my car I have 3 years worth of half-empty water bottles and goldfish to live on.
@Home_Halfway: *KNOCK KNOCK* OPEN UP ITS THE POLICE "What do you want?" YOU'RE UNDER ARRES- "No." ..NO?? "No, I don't want to be." *whispers* Shit now what
@dinokitten: Dad: Why do you smell like weed? Me: How do you know what weed smells like?! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :(