@RVGisFUNNY: I just read an article about a man swept out to sea during a baptism. I guess that's God's Way of saying "Nope".
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Gooooats: Me: you're going to bed in 5 minutes. Toddler: No. Twenty minutes! Me: Ok. *puts him to bed in 2 minutes because he has no concept of time*
@Shut_up_Marissa: I don't mean to brag, but I do all my own auto repairs. *turns up volume* SEE! THE RATTLING SOUND IS COMPLETELY GONE!
@perfect_messs: All the women in the office were cooing over pictures of my co-worker’s new baby, but when I try to show them the 27 pictures of my new baby, no one was very impressed. “But its a coffee maker AND an espresso maker all in one,” I sob as a sulk dejectedly back to my desk.
@roostermustache: [on a date with a teacher] Me: your eyes are beautiful Her: yours too Me:*leans in, whispers* can i kiss you Her: i don't know CAN YOU