@lakeanagirl: I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That's it. No more reading!
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@pancakemixtape: It's like these credit card companies don't even care that I'm an electric accordionist for South Dakota's finest heavy metal parody band.
@notalogin: Did you ask her out? Yes. And? She only dates guys named Matt. Cause she likes to walk all over them? No, tattoo she can't afford to remove.