@lakeanagirl: I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That's it. No more reading!
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@Fred_Delicious: *is at the movies with hot date* *does fake yawn to put arm around her* *yawns too hard and inhales a child from the row in front* *dies*
@BonaFideIntent: Overall productive day.. *Ordered Batman boxer briefs & matching knee socks *Called my mom *Bought an Xbox game, & a goat, on Craigslist
@CrazyClarine: After Paris my Airbnb host tried to say I stained her sheets & headboard w/ hair dye, but the gag is I don't wear hair to bed.
@TheBeerGuy73: A reality show, where you spy on your suspected cheating significant other, called Baewatch.