@slimmy_shady: I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks. So if you're swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!
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@senderblock23: [someone reading a beautiful poem in german] ME: i have never been more frightened
@figgled: Things Women Over 30 Should Never Wear 1. exploding glove 2. ham sandwich 3. flaming fireplace 4. Dead bird helmet 6. shark eggs
@drxubair: I'd love to change the world. But I don't think there is a diaper big enough to hold all the shit.