@chrissyteigen: I just realized that when I murder someone my neighbors will never describe me as "quiet"
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@gabemakesmusic: My 5 year plan is to get an amp for my bass. That fish sure does love his energy drinks
@LostFelicia: If you've never gotten stuck in a dress you tried on over your clothes in the middle of a clothing store, then you're not me.
@3sunzzz: 6yo: What is a solar eclipse? Me: Have you ever been outside in the dark? 6yo: yeah Me: same idea