@chrissyteigen: I just realized that when I murder someone my neighbors will never describe me as "quiet"
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@slimmy_shady: Almost arrived at work when my kid asked "Where're we going?" Who the hell did I just drop off at school?!
@marebytes: Brutally honest? I'm always honest ... I guess the brutality would depend on your level of aversion to the truth
@economybacon: Man, my car is so fast, it could outrun a man combined with a horse "You mean Centaur, right?" Ohhh somebody went to college ooohh