@MintyCow: I just responded to a text message with: I can't hear you, you're breaking up
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@megfraser: I'm surprised "slow internet connection" doesn't come up more often as a motive in murder trials.
@Mikecanrant: Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
@andylassner: Never trust anyone who says you need to come out of your shell because let's start with the fact that they think you're a turtle
@ericsshadow: [me telling a joke] guy wearing a "Make America Great Again" hat: I don't understand. ME: There's probably a lot you don't understand.