@jake_lach: I just saved $30 on Taco Bell by telling a friend I don't have my wallet
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@robfee: Where was the NSAs wire taps when the McCallisters were leaving messages with all the neighbors that Kevin was home alone? Thanks Obama.
@toomanytoes: Judge: You need supervision. Me: [Imagines toasting toast at a slightly increased rate with laser eyes] YES! Do it now robed wizard.
@liv_thatsme: I wish I had a black stallion, so any time I got really pissed, I could angrily ride along the ocean.
@Schmoodles: I will totally judge you based on your choice of breakfast cereal, you unfrosted weirdo.