@LurkAtHomeMom: I just saved a bundle on future college tuition by finding out my 4 year old wants to be a gum ball when he grows up.
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@ImaFlyontheWall: If your nervous tick is pointing to the sky then might i suggest not going to auctions anymore.
@AndyAsAdjective: Just the other day, I asked my mom at what age do children start really listening to their parents but I don't remember what her answer was.
@conanobrienswyf: Clapping was invented by white people at concerts, because we have no idea what to do with our hands when we dance.
@TayTayJustine: Look, if you can take a smoke break, I should be able to take a twitter break. It's not like one addiction outweighs the other, HR!