@RitleySammich: I just saved a whole bunch of money on my car insurance by hacking into State Farm's main server and deleting the 4 DUIs.
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@gianni_bcn: To show off my "Downton Abbey etiquette" at the gym, I don't throw punches at the punching bag. I just say something witty and cruel to it.
@truegritrumble: HER: You almost ready to go to my mothers? ME: *looking out window wondering if the jump will only break a leg & not kill me* Be right down.
@Xalqee: As if " cray cray" wasn't irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that's just stu stu
@wolfpupy: bought a box of 100 crickets from the pet store and released them back into the ocean were they belong