@Eightinchgoat: I just saved thousands on child support by never getting laid.
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@DanielRCarrillo: Having pets adds 5 years to your life. Have thousands of pets, never stop owning pets. Become immortal. Laugh as your foes grow old and die
@buhsbaby_baby: "Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses" -I remind myself as I flirt with the fire extinguisher I've mistaken for a cute guy
@SlipperySecret: Sorry I called you "sexy" and didn't really mean it, but I was hungry and you were a mirage of pizza.