@koalaslament: I just saw 30 seconds of Glee and now I'm gay. Send glitter.
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@davedittell: the doctors gnash their teeth and howl through the night, but they dare not breach the lines of my apple orchard
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Can we have Oreos for dinner? Me: Are you crazy? That’d be terrible for you. 4: Mom’s not home. Me: *eats Oreos for dinner*