@CrazyUncIeJoe: I just saw a baby wearing a shirt saying: "Santa doesn't exist, but that's ok, cause I can't read."
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@Sarcasticsapien: I hate the phrase "let me clarify" because it means someone is about to talk some more.
@WritePlay: MAN: I'll get pasta & she'll have the salad COW: What's that mean? MAN: Uh- COW: I'm fat? MAN: ... You're a cow? PIG AT NEXT TABLE: Ooo
@Parentpains: I called one of those numbers in the bathroom stall and my wife answered. Very funny guys.