@yoyoha: I just saw a commercial that invited me to watch more of it on the internet! Bc That's the problem w/commercials! They're not long enough!
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@mrsmith196645: 911: What is your emergency. M: I need to report a home invasion. This woman looks like my mother in law but she's smiling. Please hurry.
@abbycohenwl: I moved to LA with nothing but the shirt on my back. No pants & I couldn't figure out how to get the shirt on my front. Soon I was jailed
@vapidaccount: ProTip: Make sure heated seats are off before putting your purse on them...lipstick melts.