@jackiembouvier: I just saw a girl hang half her body out the window of her car to give someone the finger. She is my spirit animal.
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@Mardigroan: Holiday cards, when you care enough to let friends, family, customers & clients see how your handwriting hasn't improved since fourth grade.
@shashaintl: 10's homework question: "Which appliance in your home do you think is the most useful?" His answer: "My mom."
@KalvinMacleod: ME: Raising two kids on my own has been a real struggle. WIFE: I'm only gone for two days. ME: They call me momdad now, which is bittersweet
@HeyoShellz: My 4 year old refused his dinner but it's ok because I caught him eating a Milkbone earlier