@jackiembouvier: I just saw a girl hang half her body out the window of her car to give someone the finger. She is my spirit animal.
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@XplodingUnicorn: My 3-year-old dumped pudding in her pocket. Novice dad reaction: "You ruined your pants." Veteran dad: "Thank God. I thought it was poop."
@moxieblogger: I use proper syntax and punctuation on all of my tweets, unless I am in danger of exceeding the 140 character limit... & then u no how it b