@markydoodoo: I just saw a girl running without headphones and I feel I should call the police. She might be in trouble.
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@1Happytwit: You don't need to use your words if you're carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out.
@GothikRokkit: Facebook asks what I'm thinking. Twitter asks what I'm doing. Google asks where I am. The internet has turned into my girlfriend.
@charliedelta7: One day, someone will call me sir without adding "I think we're going to have to ask you to leave."