@EmaSlema: I just saw a guy put a hamburger between 2 pancakes so I proposed on the spot and he just said "no" so he's obviously the smartest man alive
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MomOfTeen: Bought some expensive neck cream. Directions say to apply it twice daily. If I slather it on every hour, I'll have the neck of a teen.
@cbdoubleu: Well, I've got to hand it to you. -Guy explaining how the baton works in a relay race.
@DaddyJew: Me: *passes out pizza* 3: no fair, you have 4 slices and I only have 2 Me: *cuts his 2 slices into 6 slices* 3: wow, thank you
@farahfergie: Premarital counseling should be having the couple put together IKEA furniture with limited Wi-Fi connection. #weddingparty #romance