@sixfootcandy: I just saw a guy with leather pants get out of an IROC-Z. I wanted to say "Welcome to the future, traveler. You're going to love it here!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@3sunzzz: Waiter: May I take your order? Yes, roll over and play dead! Waiter: It's not that kind of order. Oh. Sorry. I'll have the cheese sticks.
@therealeatwood: ME: [spraying hose to make a rainbow over a bear trap] WIFE: stop trying to trap a leprechaun ME: I really want a pot of gold or some cereal
@Molly_Kats: WHO ARE YOU RUNNING FROM IN YOUR OWN APARTMENT YOU FAT MONSTER NEIGHBOR I shout to my ceiling.