@CJhooray: I just saw a list of candidates for the local Juvenile Judge election and I just don't think juveniles should even be able to be judges idk
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@shkeeber: 1. Dial random number. 2. Wait for answering machine. 3. Say "My wife is out of town, I miss you". 4. Hang up. 5. Happy Valentine's Day.
@OfficeofSteve: I have Tourettes syndrome, but instead of swearing, I yell out movies that Nicolas Cage has been in
@Tups13: The stoners surround me very, very slowly. Three of them are eating cereal. "Look guys," I explain. "When I said I had a pot belly..."
@eric10F: Tried to pick a booger off my phone screen. Ended up calling my mom, signing up for AOL and getting an online degree in refrigerator repair