@KevinHart4real: I just saw a man get hit by a car...he got hit & fell down & then got up & chased the car down the block!!!! His legs must be strong as shit
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@thepunningman: Robocop: I am Robotcop Criminal: You don't say the t you robo moron R: [visibly confused] Pu down he gun you are under arres
@dinokitten: "Dude go make the first move on her!" "Okay fine, but I'm not too sure what I'm doing." *approaches girl* "Knight to f3"
@thenatewolf: Me: I know you from somewhere Jesus: I get that a lot Me: no I'm sure Jesus: just one of those faces Me: [holding arms out] go like this