@KevinHart4real: I just saw a man get hit by a car...he got hit & fell down & then got up & chased the car down the block!!!! His legs must be strong as shit
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@DanMentos: "You've reached 911" Knock knock "Sir ple-" Knock knock "This is not-" Knock knock "ok, who's there?" Ben "Ben who" Ben shot real bad "NICE"
@Freudianscript: It is estimated that 1 Million people plan to gather at Times Square to watch the ball drop while looking down at their phones.
@dafloydsta: FRIEND: Make her the center of attention ME: Okay [later at restaurant] ME: *throws food at next table* ME: *pointing at date* SHE DID IT