@KevinHart4real: I just saw a man get hit by a car...he got hit & fell down & then got up & chased the car down the block!!!! His legs must be strong as shit
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@Brianhopecomedy: Let my 4 year old score his first goal on me in hockey & he said, "NA NA, you couldn't stop me!" so he also received his first cross-check.
@cloudypianos: *lady shares a wallet photo of her son* *i pull out a 20-part accordion wallet photo set of my dogs*
@jergarl: Shia Labeouf always looks like he's trying to teach math after someone just waved smelling salts under his nose.