@FattMernandez: I just saw a pizza delivery guy get in a terrible accident. I feel so bad. Someone's just sitting around, wondering where their pizza is.
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@Bexdora: In every teen body-swap film there's that moment where they look in the mirror & are shocked to see an adult. That's my morning routine now.
@iscoff: If two people on opposite sides of the world drop a piece of bread on the ground at the same time the Earth briefly becomes a sandwich
@holypurgatory: A lot of people cry when they chop onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.