@FattMernandez: I just saw a pizza delivery guy get in a terrible accident. I feel so bad. Someone's just sitting around, wondering where their pizza is.
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@dumbbeezie: Sometimes I think I want to have a baby but then I wake up the next morning still holding my beer and I think maybe not
@Home_Halfway: "How much for this melted ghost?" Sir that's a bed sheet "You have a lot of them! And they're packaged? IS THIS GHOST HELL" This is a Macys
@BeamishBoi: *throws goods on conveyor belt* Cashier: is that all sir? Me:"Nope. You got change for a trophy?"