@faisaladam_: I just saw a poster that said "have you seen this man?" With a number to call... So I called the number and told them "No."
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@gerryhallcomedy: My french toast just surrendered to my german sausage. Breakfast is weird at my house.
@Rollinintheseat: They say a woman deserves a man that looks at her every day like it's the first time he's seen her. It's wrong to promote Alzheimer's.
@QwertyJones3: "Welcome to another meeting of Horse Club. Let's try to actually get something done today. All in favor?" Crowd: "NEIGH!" "Jesus Christ."
@The_MartiniGirl: Pretty sure I just did some classical ballet move as I got off the computer chair to get to the kitchen and saw a spider on my floor.