@my_boy_joey: I just saw a raccoon get hit by a Smart Car. The poor lil fella suffered a sprained ankle.
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@EndhooS: Boss "Are you high?" Me "If I was high could I do this?" *Inserts a USB into it's port the right way up 1st time"
@GeorgeTakei: Many racist Trump supporters were stung by Clinton's speech calling them a "basket of deplorables." The rest had to go look up "deplorable."