@KKBowls: I just saw a spider on the wall, I went to hit it -- it just fell and ran away. I was all, 'Oh my God, he knows what I look like.'
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@NicestHippo: Funny how arguing works. We're all "You clearly disagree with me, so I will now repeat my point with steadily increasing levels of volume"
@Tommytoughstuff: ME: This electric toothbrush knocked a few of my teeth loose. DENTIST: That's an egg beater.