@dumbbeezie: I just saw a woman outside sitting alone on a bench and staring at nothing and it made me so sad. I wonder what happened to her phone?
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@SteveKoehler22: One time, when the kids were teenagers, we tried to ditch them on a family holiday. It didn't work, unfortunately. They found us.
@internetluke: [vet office] Hi I am here to drop my cat off. Just a check-up. *doctor walks out* "Hi, I am Dr. Curiosity we- I'll take my cat elsewhere
@Rollmaninoz: God: *inventing the elephant* let's just move all the dials to maximum and see what happens