@dumbbeezie: I just saw a woman outside sitting alone on a bench and staring at nothing and it made me so sad. I wonder what happened to her phone?
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@WetzelGeek: Woke up this morning with a pillow over my face, hearing someone muttering "...it would be so easy..."
@senderblock23: (commercial for drugs) Man: Nothing is working out in my life VO: Have you tried drugs? Man: (startled) Who said that Narrator: "Drugs"
@ThaJawn: *puts a gun against a magician's back Me and you are going to get all the quarters, from behind all the ears
@robdelaney: Always have a fake name at the ready so you don't tell the cops something stupid, like "Andrew Granola."