@wittwitbarista: I just saw a woman push 5 little kids in a shopping cart out of Walmart. I didn't realize that you could get them in bulk now.
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@BobbyAwful: I don't pluck my unibrow to look good, I do it because McDonald's sued me for illegal use of the double arches.
@mattZillaaaa: I love it when I see an old friend I haven't seen in years and pretend to not see them
@Jade_VK: FRIEND WHO JUST RECEIVED MAGICAL POWERS: idk what I should do first FRIEND WHO IS TRAPPED IN AN OIL PAINTING FOR SOME REASON: I have an idea