@BigHeb7: I just saw three dudes wearing denim shirts with denim jeans. Who's responsible for this shit? Canada? Was it you, Canada?
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@myonlymizztake: Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
@_troyjohnson: 5yo: "Dad we don't have a chimney. How will Santa get in?" Me: Probably through my credit card. 5: what? Me: what?
@Abusitron: [coffee shop] *casually puts arm around wife* *reaches up to Free Wifi sign with a pen* *changes last "i" to an "e", draws downward arrow*