@copymama: I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.
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@realHamOnWry: That crazy moment when you smell roast pork, but realize your heated car seat is set too high.
@MavenofHonor: Listen, I've been stuck atop this condemned lighthouse for weeks now, and you don't hear me complaining. No one does
@Brianhopecomedy: My 4 year old and I are having an argument. I'm telling him that he is making me late for work and he's telling me that he is Batman.
@shopkins776: Thanks for yelling at me and calling me names on the internet. I have the same opinion as you do now