@PAT_E_ROCK: I just smoked the fattest blunt.. And now my refrigerator is nervous!
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@AndyRichter: Fun to hear newscasters, while their chopper hovers over an active crime scene, scold people "the last thing the police need is spectators"
@lloydrang: 1970s: "Hey baby" 1990s: "Hey babe" 2014: "Hey bae" 2020: "Hey b" 2030: "All hail our glorious squirrel overlords"
@SadMeterologist: My neighbors are organizing something called a "fun run". This shit never happened when I lived in my car.