@concretesledge_: I just spent $100 at Whole Foods. This better be a damn good bag of Almonds.
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@WhiskeySoured: If you feel like you're going through a rough patch, just remember that it only lasts through adulthood.
@kimwilliamz: The worst thing about admitting you're an alcoholic is that people will expect you to stop drinking.
@ArfMeasures: [park] STRANGER: Your dog is unusual looking ME: Yeah, he's interbred DUCK: [waddles up] I'll tell you who else is into bread