@AndrewProTV: I just spent 15 minutes searching for my phone in my room, using my phone as a flashlight...
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@steveffootball: A girl at the bar just did a tequila shot and didn't make a face. We're getting married
@ThisOneSayz: Me: excuse me, but I can't taste the alcohol Clerk: all smoothies are non alcoholic here. Me: YOU SHOULDN'T CALL YOURSELF A BAR THEN!