@Girliegurll: I just spent 38 minutes on the phone w my mother. And she couldn't tell I was drinking. I'm worried about her, now.
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@TheTweetOfGod: Out of curiosity, where were you all thinking of moving after you're done destroying the Earth? 'Cause I assume you've thought that through.
@TitansHomer: I'm the guy at the gym laying face down on the treadmill telling everyone "I'm ok, I'm ok"
@ambamthankyamam: Hey people that twitter says are "similar to me", where do people like us put our car keys?!?!?!