@jjhartinger: I just spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to spell Wednesday, so I canceled the event.
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@GashleyMadison: I love playing catch with my dogs when I'm drunk, because I don't have dogs when I'm sober.
@Mr_Kapowski: Coworker: Ugh, the coffee is too strong Me: There is no strong coffee. Just weak people.
@dreamsinchocola: My husbands signature move is running to town "real quick" and coming home 5 hours later.