@ElKnuckelhombre: I just spent ten minutes waving back to a guy in a storefront window before I realized he was just cleaning the glass.
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@ManvAlcohol: I'm just saying, if I were a bomb maker, I would make all the wires the same color.
@AlbertBrooks: I think we should elect Bernie. When Isis hears a Jew is president they will all have heart attacks and die.
@SaraMansford: I wish scientists could make us as indestructible as cartoons. I've got a list of people I'd like to drop an anvil on.
@better_off_dad: New smartphone: $1,000 Monthly fees: $200 Data overages: $75 Never talking to anyone: Priceless.