@Mothpete: I just sprayed hair glitter onto a fly instead of insect spray. Not dead... but pretty fly.
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@Marcmywords2: Tequila doesn't make me drunk and disorderly, it just seems that way, cuz Police Reports are all written by cops.
@ThisOneSayz: "My favorite sex fantasy starts with you bringing me wine..." And then? "Cheese." Mmmm and then? "You close the door from outside."
@abbycohenwl: *pulls motorist over* COP: Are you high? MAN: If I were high would you look like a breathing tree? *one leaf silently falls from cop*