@Mothpete: I just sprayed hair glitter onto a fly instead of insect spray. Not dead... but pretty fly.
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@RandomManik: GF texted me that her ex wants to get her back. So I texted, "I care for you. Don't do this". I'm still working on what to reply to my GF.
@JonBaker: [future] Kid: Grammar and spelling are stupid, dad! Why do I have to learn them anyway? Me: Internet arguments, mostly