@Mothpete: I just sprayed hair glitter onto a fly instead of insect spray. Not dead... but pretty fly.
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@mattZillaaaa: Tomorrow is my company's office holiday potluck. I really hope they like the french fries I found between my car seat
@joe_binkley: I want to be a server at a restaurant that serves fish jelly, just so when people order it, I can say "I don't think you're ready."
@internetluke: Boss: we're going to our cabin on the lake this weekend Coworker: you guys have a cabin ON the lake? Boss: Ya? Coworker: must be wet hahaha